Hey beautiful souls,

This week’s Skin Deep MDs episode is a juicy, no-holds-barred deep dive into something way more intimate than any skincare routine: your sex life.

You know how it goes—life gets busy, the to-do list is endless, and before you know it, you’re wondering when the last time was you actually wanted to have sex instead of treating it like just another box to check. We get it. The highlight reel in your head says passion should feel effortless and spontaneous, but real life (with work, kids, and laundry piles) is way messier—and way more human.

That’s why we sat down with Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist who’s here to bust myths, spill the tea, and show you exactly why your libido isn’t broken—and why great sex takes more than chemistry. From the science behind why most women don’t just “get in the mood” to how scheduling intimacy can feel sexy as hell, Vanessa shares all the game-changing wisdom no one ever taught you (but everyone needs to hear).

Trust us, this one’s going to make you rethink everything you thought you knew about desire, connection, and why it’s okay that sometimes the last thing you feel like doing is taking your clothes off.

[02:15] – Biggest Myth About Sex: Why believing great sex should be effortless is sabotaging so many relationships.

[07:40] – Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire: The surprising reason most women don’t feel “in the mood”—and how to change it.

[15:20] – Sexual Pain Is Not Normal: Why 30% of women have pain during sex and what to do instead of “just relaxing.”

[21:02] – The Bristle Reaction: When every touch feels like pressure—and how to bring back nonsexual affection.

[28:15] – Mental Load & The Bedroom: When you’re the keeper of all the lists, the planner of all the things, and your brain just won’t switch off—no wonder sex feels impossible.

[34:50] – The GET Intimate Technique: 3 simple daily practices (gratitude, eye contact, touch) that transform connection in under a minute.

[41:05] – Why Scheduling Sex Is Sexy: Forget dentist-appointment vibes—how planning intimacy makes you feel chosen and excited.

[46:00] – When You Want Connection, Not Just Another To-Do: How to talk about what you really need without starting a fight.

[52:40] – Making Sex Worth Craving: The “mushy broccoli” problem (and why better technique matters).

[58:12] – How Medications Can Impact Desire: Steps to take if prescriptions are dulling your libido.

✨ Desire isn’t always spontaneous—and that’s normal.

Most women need physical arousal first before mental desire kicks in.

✨ Sexual pain is never something to ignore.

If it hurts, you deserve a provider who will help you figure out why.

✨ Nonsexual touch is everything.

Start with a 30-second hug or a 6-second kiss—small moments build big trust.

✨ Communication is the secret ingredient.

Great sex takes talking about it, openly and often.

✨ Scheduled intimacy doesn’t have to feel clinical.

Planning shows you value your connection—and makes it something to look forward to.

🎧 Listen Now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Follow Vanessa and Xander on Instagram for daily tips and check out their Deeper membership for practical tools, real intimacy, and (yes!) better sex techniques.

❤️ If this episode resonated with you—or you know a friend who could use this message—please share it. Your support means the world to us.

Stay connected, stay curious, and remember: you deserve intimacy that feels beautiful and safe.

—The Skin Deep MDs 💖